Story A Day: Born Into Light

[Notes: Yeah. I'm not so sure about this one. Feel free to offer help because I know it's messed up and I can't figure out how to make it better.]

Rena took a deep breath before entering the waiting room. She wasn't sure what she expected to find inside, but it wasn't the relatively normal room holding two other angels. "Um...hello?" She blinked as the tall man in the corner burst into tears at her greeting.

"Don't worry," said the young woman sitting in the nearby chair. "It's not you, he's been like that all day. I think he must be the angel of grief." Walking over and holding out her hand, she smiled. "I'm Tabbris, but please, call me Tabby."

"Oh, that makes sense." Rena took the offered hand eagerly. "I'm Rena, the angel of peace." She cringed and shook her head. "That...came out a little lame, didn't it? I think I've been announcing myself to humans too much, I'm beginning to sound like a Hallmark card."

"It was a little cheesy." Tabby agreed.

"That's actually why I'm here today. I've had to announce myself way too often lately. I think my invisibility booster is busted."

"Uh-huh." Tabby eyed her for a moment. "I'm sure that excuse will fly."

"You think?"

"Like it's got lead wings."

"It was worth a shot." Rena sighed. "It's just...it's just hard! I get so excited when I see them calm down and I want to rejoice with them. The first few times I just fell right out of invisibility but it was so much fun that I just kept going!"

The sound of a door opening drew the angels eyes to the end of the hallway. A slight breeze rustled around the room, whispering a name. The man in the corner stood, tears still streaming down his face, and walked slowly towards the door. Rena and Tabbris both watched in silence as the large door shut behind him.

"What do you think is going on in there?"

"I think he just let the grief go to his head." Tabby replied, her eyes fixed on the door. "He'll probably tell him to remember His joy and give him time to recuperate."

"A vacation?" Rena grinned, wondering if she would get off so lightly. "That doesn't sound so bad."

Tabby turned and met her eyes, smirking a little. "Don't worry. I'm sure you're not in big trouble either. It's not like you were operating out of pride. He will probably laugh and tell you that He can hear you even when you're invisible and send you right back to work."

"You sound like you've been here before." Rena said. "Tabbris? That's...self-determination, right?"

"Close. I'm the angel of free will." Tabby waved her arm to encompass the waiting room. "And yeah, I've been here a few times."

"Is it hard? Being that kind of angel?" Rena asked cautiously. She couldn't imagine being called here more than once.

"You have no idea." Tabby sighed, leaning back against the wall.

"Is that why you're here. Burnout - like the grief guy?"

"No. Unlike him or you...I'm really in trouble this time."

"It can't be that bad."

"I'm so jealous of free will that I'm angry at Him for not giving it to me."

"Oh." Rena winced. "That is...bad."

"Yeah." Tabby sighed. "I haven't actually done anything yet, but I'm sure He heard my heart screaming out."

"But that's good! If you haven't messed up, then just apologize and don't feel like that anymore!"

"Just-" Tabby's eyes widened in disbelief. "You don't understand how hard it is for me! You're not like me!"

"Yes, I am. We were both born into light."

"Sometimes it doesn't feel that way. Sometimes it feels like I was created like them. Out of dirt and air and clay."

"Tabby." Rena shook her head sadly. "I'm su-"

"Do you know what it's like?" Tabby interrupted. "To foster the desire in them for something that I'll never have? To push them to want something that He never gave to me?"

"Well, of course it's not the same but-"

"Please!" Tabby scoffed. "You give them peace! It's not like you don't get to feel that yourself. I have to give them free will, not too much and not too little. Always the edge of this fine line and it makes me crazy! I just want to explode and jump over the line myself."

"...you do?"

"No. Yes. Maybe? I know why it would be horrible but...my heart longs for free will so much that I think I want to satisfy that more than I want to live with

Him."

"Tabby." Rena sat heavily in the nearest chair. "Tabbris, why did you let it go so far? Why didn't you come to Him and ask for help?"

"Oh, sure." Tabby slid down to sit on the floor, hugging her knees to her chest. "That would have gone well. How exactly does one have that sort of conversation? 'Hi, I think You messed up making me and giving me this job because now I think that I should be able to do my own thing.' Do you think He'd give me a chance to pack my things before kicking me out of Heaven?"

"It wouldn't be like that." Rena said nervously. "I'm sure if you explained that you still wanted to be His angel...Tabby?"

"Yeah?"

"You still want to, right? I mean, you still want to be His?"

"Yes!" She cried, burying her head in her knees. "Of course I do. It's just so hard when-"

The sound of the door opening interrupted them and they turned to hear the wind whisper its summons. With a last sniffle, Tabbris stood and straightened her shoulders, looking determinedly at the door.

"Rena?"

"Yes?"

"Pray for me."